Hear Me Out

Putting aside the crime, pollution and other downers surrounding the Rio Olympics, this is still the Olympics. The Olympics are the top sporting event on the planet, dark cloud and all. Name another sporting event that brings out national pride, allows us to stick it to other countries without people dying and offers a wide range of sporting events. You just can't top the Olympic Games themselves, no matter how dirty the International Olympic Committee may be.

Every four years sports like swimming, gymnastics, track and field, volleyball and basketball take center stage and overshadow all even, the mighty NFL. While those sports are the stars of the Olympics, there are much more sports taking place, what I like to call the back burner sports, and with thanks to the internet, we're now able to watch them all.

Below I've compiled a list of the best back burner sports of the Olympics. The criteria for my selection process; One, be as obscure as possible. Two, be televised during early morning or late, late night hours. Three, the Olympics are the only time the sport is covered.

Four, catch my attention by either being oddly entertaining or impressed by the athleticism of the athletes.

With that said the honorable mentions are up first.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Rhythmic gymnastics

This has to be the dumbest sport in all of the Olympics; it is basically dancing with a ribbon, hula hoop or a ball. That is the mindset when you accidentally watch a rhythmic gymnastics routine, but as the gymnast start flinging their hula hoop or ball 15 feet in the air while they flip and twist around then catch it and continue dancing around without missing a beat. It's quite impressive. Would I pay to watch this sport, no. Would I change the channel if it were on when I fired up the TV, no.

Decathlon

It's weird the decathlon has become almost a back burner sport. The amount athleticism required to compete, let alone win, is mind-blowing. Maybe when Ashton Eaton repeats as gold medalist, the popularity will tick upward again.

Now on to the good stuff.

No. 5 – Rowing

The robotic-like efficiency, consistency, and precision of the rowing teams is fun to watch. Watching a team, like the USA women's, pace themselves for the first third of the race then kick it to another gear and dust the other rowers by a full boat length, is entertaining. Rowing has some of the best camera shots in the Olympics. It's always a great shot when the camera has the close-up shots of the boat numbers and the ebb and flow between them during the race.

No. 4 – Trampoline

How could you not enjoy the trampoline event? It has everything going for it incredible athletic achievements, entertaining and covered in nostalgia. What's most impressive about this event is the athlete's ability keep a straight face. On average trampolinists reach 30 feet during their routine. 30 feet. How do you not crack the slightest smile? 

No. 3 - Taekwondo

Watching Jason Bourne take down goons or fight another super assassin in hand-to-hand combat is high-quality cinema. But as fun, as it is to watch those fight scenes they're choreographed and scripted to end with Bourne dominating fools. This is why Olympic Taekwondo is great. You have two world class fighters battling using real moves with no idea who is going to win.

No. 2 - Badminton

This is not the badminton you played in high school P.E. class. For one it doesn't take you four shuttlecocks and two poorly strung rackets to get through a game. These Olympic matches are fierce. The pace is like a professional ping pong game but with the power of a tennis player all played on a court roughly a third of the size of a tennis court. Every match has a chaotic energy that brings out the entertainment value.

No. 1 - Handball

Handball is the most underrated sport in all of the world. How this sport isn't rivaling soccer in international popularity is beyond me. Truthfully, it could be the name that's holding it back. The name handball is quite boring. The sport though is the most entertaining in all of the Olympics. 

Handball is a mix of soccer and basketball. Each team has seven players, six in the field and one goalie. To score a team must put the ball, which is slightly smaller than a volleyball, in the opponents goal. The wrinkle is there is a goal area of about 20 feet that no player, other than the goalie, can enter. So to score teams have to throw the ball from outside this area. There is a rule that allows for players to shoot within this area as long as they did not start their shot from inside the restricted space. To move the ball players can dribble and pass and if a player has the ball they have three seconds to either move or pass.

It's a very fast paced game and one that the USA should be dominating.

Before I go on, I'd like to say that great minds think alike and NFL Network analyst Dave Dameshek had the same idea I'm about to share. I'm going to set aside any grievances that could be had over the theft of this idea. Because most importantly, I'm a patriot, and I want as many medals for this country as possible.

If I'm running the US Olympic handball team here's my plan. We have a lot of professional athletes who don't have a sport in the Olympics, like the guys in the NFL, MLB or even the NBA guys who didn't make the US men's basketball team. Instead of having Aaron Rodgers or Cam Newton throw meaningless passes in the preseason. Let's recruit them to the handball team. Can you imagine Rodgers or Newton zipping that ball right past a Russian goalie. Or you have Bryce Harper, Mike Trout, and Odell Beckham Jr. on the squad. OBJ could take off before the restricted line catch a pass from Trout and rifle the ball by a frozen Croatian goalie. I'm only scratching the surface here; there's a potential dynasty we're letting go to waste.

What are some of your favorite back burner Olympic sports? Email them to me at [email protected].