Karla's Kolumn: To crunch or not to crunch

When considering topics for my column I find that some weeks I struggle for material and then other weeks, like this week, I have a plethora of issues to choose from.

I could talk about how a military parade has to be one of the dumbest ideas President Donald Trump has come up with and the reasons are too numerous to list here. But a few reasons - first, when Congress just passed a two-year budget giving more money to the military is that really what we want to spend that money on ... a totally unnecessary parade. Military parades are for communist countries, for countries led by dictators trying to instill fear in their citizens.

Second, we have a country filled mostly with citizens who are proud of our military and stand proudly with our military. We don't need a parade to instill that pride, we need only look at our own friends and family who have proudly served.

Third, we don't need a parade to show the world or our own citizens how mighty our military is, we have shown the world through our actions. The world knows we have a great military, a great, voluntary military of men and women who have made a free choice to serve their country.

To sum up, Mr. President, we, the American citizens, and, you, Mr. President, don't need a military parade.

Or I could write about how dysfunctional our government is because they can't pass a budget. Yes, I know they finally passed a spendy budget in the early morning hours Friday. We have Congressional leaders acting like children and pouting if they don't get their way and willing to halt the government to try to get their way.

It's time the president and our Congress grow up and act like adults and do the jobs we elected them to do.

And finally my main point (you knew I'd get there eventually). Whether she spoke tongue in cheek or off the cuff, or deliberately, PepsiCo's CEO caused a stir when people thought they were launching a ladies Doritos less-crunchy chip.

According to the Associated Press, Don't expect to see "lady Doritos" on store shelves. The company behind the cheesy chips said Tuesday that it's not developing a line of Doritos designed specifically for women, despite widespread online speculation that it was.

The phrase "lady Doritos" trended on social media after PepsiCo's longtime CEO Indra Nooyi said on a podcast that unlike men, women don't like to lick their fingers after eating a bag of Doritos.

"Women would love to do the same, but they don't," Nooyi said in an interview on the Freakonomics podcast. "They don't like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don't lick their fingers generously and they don't like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth."

Nooyi, who has run the soda and snack company for more than a decade, later said the company is "getting ready to launch" snacks that are "designed and packaged differently" for women. "Women love to carry a snack in their purse," Nooyi said.

Following the backlash of the comments, PepsiCo and Doritos have said there is no lady Doritos being launched.

I hope they are correct. Women don't need a lady Doritos; Doritos are fine just the way they are and this is coming from a chipoholic so I know from whence I speak. I love chips, regular potato chips, flavored potato chips, Cheetos (puffed and crunchy), Fritos, and Doritos (most all flavors).

I also love to crunch. I don't crunch with my mouth open, so I may be a lady there but yes, I have tipped a bag of chips to get the crumbs. I may not always lick my fingers, preferring to use a napkin. I don't know a lot of women who carry snacks in their purses unless they are moms and the snacks aren't usually for them.

We need to get away from some of the gender issues in this country. For chip companies, how about just targeting people who like chips, male or female. The Doritos commercials (until this year) have been some of the best during the Super Bowl. And, amazingly I, as a woman, enjoyed the commercials for regular Doritos. Amazingly, I purchase and eat Doritos, in fact as I write this column I'm munching and crunching on, that's right, a bag of Doritos.

No don't get me wrong, I do like it when some companies target women in their products, if I didn't I wouldn't have a mini pink Leatherman that my husband bought me for my Christmas stocking a few years ago.

But in the world of snacks, I have one final word or a few words for PepsiCo and Doritos, remember your ad campaign from a few years "Crunch all you want, we'll make more." So, let us women crunch, we'll buy more.