Hear me out...The State of Wyoming vs. the Cleveland Browns

I hate to brag, but I saw "Rampage" last weekend, and surprisingly I liked it. The movie wasn't particularly good but for what it is, a fun over-the-top action film, it hits the spot. As one would expect, Dwayne Johnson carries the movie from start to finish. Overall, I'd put it firmly in the matinee/Redbox range.

But two things came up during the 107-minute runtime that I couldn't stop thinking about.

First was the backstory of Johnson's character. The character is an ape specialist, but before that, he was military special forces. Specifically, he ran a special squad that tracked down poachers in Africa and India. As soon as that was revealed, I couldn't stop thinking how much I wanted to see that movie, rather than "Rampage."

Who wouldn't want to watch Johnson hunt down some chump poachers? Done right, the Dwayne Johnson hunter of poachers is a potential franchise or at the very least a 10 to 12 episode, three season series on Netflix or HBO. If you really wanted to go all out, you'd get "Zero Dark Thirty" director Kathryn Bigelow to helm the project, because then you'll be talking Oscars.

The second thing I had a hard time shaking was Wyoming's representation in the movie. One of the giant animals that wreaks havoc comes from the Equality State, but when they show scenes that are supposed to be in Wyoming. It's obvious there isn't a spot in the state that looks like the shots they got.

Doing a quick IMDB search and seeing the locations shot for "Rampage."

The scene in total lasted about five minutes if that, but it got me thinking. There have been plenty of movies set in Wyoming but not filmed here. "Wind River" (shot in Utah) and "The Hateful Eight" (shot in Colorado) come to mind as the most recent examples.

And it's no surprise why these film production companies don't film here, it's because Wyoming isn't competitive when it comes to offering production incentives like Utah, Colorado or Georgia. These production companies are a business after all, and any time they can save some money, they do. If that means filming the Wyoming-set series "Longmire" in New Mexico, that is what they're going to do.

These film productions, especially those for series, bring jobs and possibly more tourism to the state. Look at New Zealand, before "Lord of the Rings" and the "Hobbit" it was Australia's weird cousin. Now, it's a legit tourist destination.

There are obvious drawbacks offering more competitive filming incentives, some states have seen their taxes increase, not seen the results they like or annoying fans searching out famous spots in film or series. I know the latter sounds awful but if they're going to spend dollars in our state let's let it slide.

If our legislators were to create better incentives, they'd have to do it sort of from scratch because a lot of the problems with these incentives are states copying one another, which is a recipe for disaster. What works for New Mexico doesn't necessarily work for every state.

I'm not saying offering better film production incentives will warp us into a utopia, all it would be is another way to make a buck and at the very least put us on the shortlist when Spielberg or someone of his ilk is looking to film their next blockbuster.

It just would be nice to see when a movie cuts to a location that's supposed to be Casper, Wyoming and it is Casper, Wyoming. Not Georgia with their hills for mountains.

That part is getting really annoying actually, and maybe we should consider a lawsuit for slander.

It is slander 100 percent, it might not be intentional but it's slander nonetheless. The uneducated might think that Georgia, who's highest-point is Brasstown Bald at 4,784 feet, is equal to Wyoming in mountains. It props up Georgia like they have actual mountains. Slander I say!

Speaking of lawsuits, the NFL Draft starts Thursday and University of Wyoming QB Josh Allen is projected to be a top-five pick and the Cleveland Browns own two of the first five picks. I think it's time for us, as the state of Wyoming, to get back to our groundbreaking roots and sue the Cleveland Browns to block them from drafting Allen. If UW wants to join in, the more the merrier.

All that matters is preventing the Browns from taking Allen, whether you're a UW fan or not it should concern you that the Browns have been rumored to draft Allen with either their first or fourth pick.

I know Allen is from California and not technically a Wyoming native but considering all he's done for UW, I'm going to count him as a Wyoming product.

Historically, the Browns have been the poster child for ineptitude in the NFL, and professional sports as a whole. The franchise is so horrible that whenever there is a new college football champion, especially a dominant one, the question "Could they beat the Browns?" always comes up. They've only made the playoffs once in this century. Then, of course, there's the infamous jersey with all 28 starting QB's they've had since 1999.

The Browns are a trainwreck.

But in 2012 Jimmy Haslam III bought the team and took over as the principal owner. Since then he has taken the franchise to a Mariana Trench-esque low. In the six season's as owner Haslam has only 20-wins under his belt.

I know some of you might believe I'm being too tough on Haslam or even point out that I am a Jags fan. Jags owner Shahid Khan and Haslam both came into the league the same year. And in his first five years, Khan won fewer games, 17, than Haslam. And before the 2017-18 season, his team never topped five-wins.

Yet, here's the difference between Khan and Haslam; when it comes to football Khan is patient and smart while Haslam is impulsive and dumb. Khan got his front office in place in 2013, trusted them and the process and with a few tweaks along the way, hiring head coach Doug Marrone and football operations Tom Coughlin, the Jags are trending upwards.

Meanwhile, in Cleveland, Haslam has gone through four head coaches, five general managers and remember how the Browns have had 28 different starting QBs since 1999? 12 of those 28 have come during the Haslam era.

One of those 12 QBs was Johnny Manziel. Have you heard the story how the Browns drafted Manziel? Here's how it went down, Haslam's front office and coaching staff did not want to take Manziel but as you'd guessed he overruled all of them and went with Manziel. Then when he was talking with ESPN's Sal Paolantonio, he explained the reasoning behind the move was because a homeless man, a homeless man, told him to draft Manziel.

Google it if you don't believe me.

Now whether that actually happened or it's Haslam being a coward and not wanting to own his decision, is up for debate. But why he'd tell a reporter for the world's biggest sports network that a homeless man convinced him to take Manizel by only uttering the words "Draft Manziel" shows you just how flawed his football logic is.

If you still think I'm tough on Haslam just look at what he's done to the Tennessee University football program. Remember that mess they had trying to find a football coach? Guess who the architect of that fiasco was? Jimmy Haslam III!

You may be saying, "Ok Alex, yes Haslam is a bad owner who thinks he knows more about football than the football people he's hired but that doesn't deserve a lawsuit. Maybe Allen will break the Cleveland QB curse."

I'll concede maybe, just maybe Allen could break that curse but not with Haslam as the owner. The man's company, the Pilot Flying J, has had 17 former employees, including the company's president, plead guilty or were convicted of a fraud scheme in the neighborhood of $50 million. Naturally, Haslam was stunned by this scheme and didn't know it was happening. And he had enough fall guys in front of him that charges won't be brought against him. But all of it goes back to being stupid or a liar.

Either Haslam was a naïve dope who doesn't know what's going on in his own company, or he lied and signed off on the scheme to rip off his truck driving customers. A strong case can be made for both.

Haslam is an atrocious owner and is challenging New York Knicks owner James Dolan as the worst owner in sports. And any QB that goes there will probably be a bust because of his management style.

UW doesn't get many opportunities to have a player go in the top-five and we can't have that doofus Browns owner ruining a potential franchise guy like Allen.

As citizens of Wyoming, we can unite and block Haslam from adding Allen to that never-ending Browns QB jersey. Now off to Legal Zoom.