Staff Column: Kindness relieves the pain

So many people in this world are fighting diseases that no one knows about. The checker girl the other day who didn't smile at your joke, the waiter who kept forgetting condiments, the man who forgot to return your call, the lady who called you a second time for the same thing, all may be fighting an illness that can't be seen to the naked eye, but they are fighting and fighting hard.

I personally fight everyday with fibromyalgia. I know what it is like to wake up in the morning, feeling like I have been run over by a truck, with muscles hurting that have no right to hurt. Hating to get into the shower because I know that even the water is going to feel like coals on my skin and I will be exhausted when I get out. Having to miss out on events because I hurt so much and am just so very tired. Knowing that I have to deal with what God has given me because I have no choice and have to try to have a normal life. Knowing that there will be no relief from the pain because I am allergic to almost all pain medications.

But to have any semblance of a life, I put my, "I'm OK" mask on, going to work, doing errands and praying to make it through the day only to fall into bed in the early evening hours, after making supper. I see the disappointment in my husband's eyes when once again I can't follow through with the plans we made or when I try to follow through only to be a spectator on the sidelines instead of an active participant.

Millions of people deal with the above scenario every day, not with just fibromyalgia. They are trying their best to just survive, not wanting sympathy, just maybe a little understanding when it gets to be too much for them.

According to the Disabled World website, "Invisible Disability, or hidden disability, is an umbrella term that captures a whole spectrum of hidden disabilities or challenges that are primarily neurological in nature. Invisible disability, or hidden disability, are defined as disabilities that are not immediately apparent. Some people with visual or auditory disabilities, who do not wear glasses or hearing aids, or discreet hearing aids, may not be obviously disabled. Some people who have vision loss may wear contacts. A sitting disability is another category of invisible impairments; sitting problems are usually caused by chronic back pain. Those with joint problems or chronic pain may not use mobility aids on some days, or at all. Although the disability creates a challenge for the person who has it, the reality of the disability can be difficult for others to recognize or acknowledge. Others may not understand the cause of the problem, if they cannot see evidence of it in a visible way."

I'm writing this today to ask for people to be understanding to their fellow men and women. You never know what they are fighting behind the mask. Many times people fighting an invisible illness develop severe depression, feel like they are a burden on their family, hate their life, lose the empathy of their family and have thoughts of suicide.

According to the Counseling Today website, "Among individuals in the chronic illness community, these are common symptoms related to their physical illness. They may also suffer from other symptoms that make gainful employment or social relationships difficult. These symptoms include brain fog that makes concentration and processing of information challenging, orthostatic intolerance (increased symptoms when standing), exercise intolerance, joint subluxations and dislocations, severe allergic reactions to foods or chemicals, hot flashes, and muscle and joint stiffness or pain.

"Suicide risk factors for individuals with chronic invisible illness include loneliness, perceived burdensomeness and thwarted belongingness. The acquired capability for lethal self-injury is a critical area of risk to explore for those with chronic invisible illness due to repeated exposure to painful or fearsome experiences. These risk factors should be routinely assessed and worked into the treatment plan to target the underlying suicidality and reasons for living. Determining specific goals and objectives on the treatment plan, as well as providing regular check-ins on these topics, may help to decrease the risk of suicide."

So when you see that cashier who didn't smile, the forgetful waiter, the man who didn't return your call or the lady who called twice, please take a second to think about what may be going on in their lives, be understanding and please be kind, because you never know if that moment of kindness will be the one thing that will help them through the day and may even prevent a suicide.

Tracie Mitchell is a staff writer for the Northern Wyoming News.