Life of recovery must include honesty

Honesty is crucial when living a life of recovery.

The process of actually admitting with heart, mind and soul that you are an addict and need help puts you on the right road toward recovery. It may seem like a no-brainer, but in reality it can be very difficult to achieve.

One reason it can be difficult to “keep it real” in recovery, is the simple fact that you do not know yourself. When active in your addiction, you created a persona that was the result of your addiction. Maybe you started using drugs to improve your self-esteem, to become more social with “chemical courage,” or to overcome trauma and pain. Whatever the reason, you may have felt better about yourself while using drugs or alcohol, and this created the foundation to which you built this personality, which became a crutch without having to address your inner issues.

As your addiction worsened, you slowly realized that the person you were was nowhere near who you really wanted to be. When you begin recovery is when the search for the real you begins. It can be overwhelming and may feel like you are in over your head. It is a huge challenge to face reality without the crutch provided by the substances you once relied on.

The first step in being honest in recovery is taking ownership and responsibility of your addiction. You must accept what addiction has done to you on a physical, psychological and spiritual basis. You must also avoid making excuses for your addiction and not engage in the blame game. You need to have a clear recovery plan in place and be open to uncovering the root causes of your addiction in order to learn from your addiction and to grow as a person.

It is also important to set healthy boundaries for yourself. When you have healthy boundaries for yourself and respect others’ boundaries, you protect yourself and your recovery. Boundaries reduce the chances of manipulation and falling for lies.

So how do you set healthy boundaries for yourself? First, recognize that you have the right to have your own emotions, feelings and values. Second, think before you speak and act so you can articulate exactly what your needs and limits are. This means setting limits with people in clear, concise ways. Be very specific about your limits so that understanding can be achieved. Third, find your voice. Speak up if you feel that your boundaries are being violated in any way. This can be scary at times, but it important to do so that others know exactly where you stand and what is important to you. Don’t be afraid to speak up if your needs are not being met. And four, always respect the boundaries of others.

Remember, recovery is more than stopping the use of alcohol or drugs. Recovery is about your own self-discovery and finding out who you really are on the inside. Learning to create a new life for yourself that matters to you, replacing negative coping mechanisms that you once relied on, and living an honest, healthy life will be worth it.